Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Official California Mwananchi Jerry Brown Post-Election Mad-Lib

In lieu of instant commentary on an election defined by amnesia, voter suppression, and the triumph of a fundamentalist right-wing party dominated by corporate interests, I bring you the Official California Mwananchi Jerry Brown Post-Election Mad-Lib.

This comes courtesy of regular reader and good friend J S Crosby, who kindly included an example below.  He clearly knows my views of Jerry Brown all too well!

Jerry Brown, _______ (noun), has ______ (verb) to victory over his _______ (mildly disapproving adjective) rival, republican Neel Kashkari. In a ______(adjective) _______(verb) of the democratically process that deprived the people of California the chance to _____ (verb) their ballot on the _______  (fantastical creature/political party that would never get elected).

 We can only hope that yet another four years of his _________ (noun) will not lead the state into ______________________ (level-headed synonym for the apocalypses). To forestall this doom, the _____________________ (noun for the electorate that just voted for Brown) must band together and ______________ (liberal pipe-dream) so that even Brown, ______________ (history’s greatest monster) cannot enact __________ (noun).



Jerry Brown, the spawn of Cthulhu (noun), has cruised (verb) to victory over his milquetoast (mildly disapproving adjective) rival, republican Neel Kashkari. In a farcical (adjective) mockery (verb) of the democratic process that deprived the people of California the chance to waste (verb) their ballot on the Rainbow Ice-cream Unicorn Party  (fantastical creature/political party that would never get elected).

We can only hope that yet another four years of his moderate center-left policies (noun) will not lead the state into a spiral of death, destruction and despair so great that not even the combined powers of FDR, Lincoln, and Bruce Willis could save us (level-headed synonym for the apocalypses). To forestall this doom, the people of California (noun for the electorate that just voted for Brown) must band together and sing vaguely relevant 60’s era protest songs (liberal pipe-dream) so that even Brown, history’s greatest monster (history’s greatest monster) cannot enact histerrible plans (noun).



1 comment:

  1. My version:
    Jerry Brown, The Incredible Prevaricating Governor (noun), has stumbled (verb) to victory over his nutjob (mildly disapproving adjective) rival, republican Neel Kashkari. In an unseemly (adjective) abandonment (verb) of the democratic process that deprived the people of California the chance to cast (verb) their ballot on any party representing something other tha the right-wing orthodoxy favoured by Brown and his opponent (fantastical creature/political party that would never get elected).
    We can only hope that yet another four years of his serial irresponsibility and refusal to address the state’s social crisis and democratic deficit (noun) will not lead the state into even greater levels of social and economic inequality (level-headed synonym for the apocalypses). To forestall this doom, the checked-out electorate in California (noun for the electorate that just voted for Brown) must band together and demand structural reform and a re-investment in our public sphere (liberal pipe-dream) so that even Brown, the addled would-be Classical sage (history’s greatest monster) cannot enact his irresponsible program of based on his strategy of “Creative Inaction” (noun).

    ReplyDelete